I didn’t choose this life. But I’m choosing what to do with it.
In 2016, after years of my body slowly, quietly falling apart, I was diagnosed with lupus.
By then I’d already been fighting. Fatigue that no amount of sleep fixed, pain that moved and morphed and defied explanation, a body that felt like it was staging a revolt against me. For years, doctors told me I was fine. My labs were “within normal range.” I was just stressed. Just anxious. Just a busy working mom who needed to slow down.
I wasn’t fine.
The diagnosis was a relief and a gut punch at the same time. There was finally a name for it: Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE), an autoimmune disease where my immune system attacks my own tissue. But with that name came the reality. There’s no cure. No clean answer. No road map.
Who I Am
I’m an executive at a national mortgage company. I’ve worked remotely since 2013, which sounds like flexibility but mostly means the office follows me everywhere. I’m married. I have two kids, both navigating their own challenges, the kind that require advocacy, patience, and more research than I ever expected to do as a parent. My life, on paper, looks like I have it together. Most days I’m managing.
What you don’t see on paper: the fog. The days where getting through a full workday takes everything I have. Thousands of dollars spent on supplements, protocols, functional medicine appointments, IV treatments, and things I found at 2 am in Facebook groups, or on Instagram reels, because I was desperate and hopeful and sometimes both at once.
Why This Site
I’m writing a book. A real one, for people with autoimmune disease who are trying to figure out how to live inside a body that fights them. While I write it, I’m building this space: partly to connect, partly to document, partly because I’ve learned so much through trial and expensive error that it feels wrong to keep it to myself.
I’m not in remission. I’m not on the other side of this. I’m still in it, still adjusting medications, still navigating flares, still negotiating with a body that has its own agenda. That means everything here is field notes, not a success story. Honest observations from someone still fighting.
Everything I’ve tried has added up to tens of thousands of dollars. Maybe more. I’m honestly afraid to add it all up. I’m writing it down so you have something real to weigh before you spend your hard-earned money on something that may not work.
Fighting to douse the flames. Sharing what didn’t suck.